Clear your Mind

I almost wrote about buffets yesterday.  If you are a follower of my blog, you should know by now that I blog a memory every Wednesday.  Hump Day is Memory Day on this blog.  It's nice to blog about happy memories but it's actually easier to blog about unhappy memories.

I write because it's hard to talk about difficult memories and it's even harder to find a willing listener that you want to talk to who won't dismiss your experience.  I usually want to write when I am dwelling on an unhappy memory.  Once I start writing, my thoughts venture into something else and I forget about something that has been upsetting me for the longest time.  The unhappy memory is in the past and I have moved on.  The sadness or anger about the situation comes back from time to time but there's nothing I want to do about it anymore.

So, what was this unhappy memory that triggered me to write this blog post?  It's very simple.  I was verbally bullied in High School which led to a chain of unfortunate events.  Basically, because I was called "fat, ugly, pimply, etc." I didn't want to stay in school during spare time at all.  Ugly doodles of me were passed around during class.  Once, this person said to this other person, "isn't simplycandee so ugly" right in front of my face.  The funny thing was, I was thinner than some of the people calling me fat and more attractive, relatively speaking.  I drifted away from all my friends after the teasing started.  I hated high school.  I looked forward to the next chapter of my life but four (4) years of hardly socializing leisurely probably rendered me incapable of hanging around in groups.

This morning I was thinking, when cell phone became popular, I had no need for it.  Now that my adult friends are growing up with jobs, wedding to plans, mortgages to pay or children to tend to, I feel like the same thing is happening again.  I honestly, don't need a cell phone.  I don't want to reach out to anyone and my friends have no time to spare.  Incoming calls are just sales calls.  Yes, I understand their priorities are changing and I am at the bottom of their totem pole as always. I'm used to being there.

The last few years, I've been wondering if people are becoming worse or if people has always been like this.  I am upset that things like Amanda Todd happened.  I also question photographs now because you can easily photoshop things in and out.

As a child, when I watched fantasy movies like Back to the Future, it was dreamy.  Now I am questioning what's real and what's fake.

Well, let's end with some facts that I believe are real:

1. We have landed on the moon a few times.
2. Planet of the Apes is, among other things,  a movie.
3. Some artists can draw so well that it is hard to determine if their drawing is a drawing or a black and white photograph.

P.S. I used to work too much.  I am reclaiming summer this year!  I lost at least 5 years of sunshine, literally.  I saw no sunlight on my way to work, no sunlight during work, and no sunlight on my way home from work.  I don't know how much Vitamin C my body is lacking after 5 years of hardly any sunshine.