Crushes

Crushes in general is a very fun topic.  It gets less fun as you get older though or maybe I am not at that age yet where the fun in discussion returns.

Having a crush was a lot of fun in Grade 1 when the whole class was making fun of me and my crush.  I was pretty sure he liked me too.  Doesn't matter, I was so adorable so many boys were crushing on me in Grade 1.  I was so cute that an elderly old man put a grocery bag over my head while I was waiting for my mom at the check out area.  No worries though, I was cute but I sense danger so I removed the grocery bag immediately and glared at this old man.  He left me alone.  My mom never knew.

Unfortunately, my grade one crush and I were separated in grade two so the story ended.  The last boy that left an impression on me before I moved to Canada presented me with two gifts.  A pencil case and a photo frame.  Initially, the pencil case was his but I liked it so much and asked if I could have it.  I think he gave me the photo frame as a farewell gift.  It was very thoughtful of him.

After moving to Canada, language problems, cultural problems, no school uniform problems so I was called a hick.  Pretty sure nobody was crushing on me and vice versa.

Finally high school!  Long story short, didn't get any better.  In fact, I was the girl one group would talk negatively about whenever a new student arrives.  I still had crushes but nobody ever knew who such person was and how long I was crushing on them for.  I don't even have to imagine myself ending up with my crush because it would never happen.

After that, it's even harder to have a crush now.  When people tell me to take the initiative, I am really at a loss.  I am walking around with the following assumptions as a grown woman:

1.  All men are take
Or
2.  They are not interested

It saves a lot of time and heartache.